Monday April 6th is the day I started this journey (insert The Bachelor/Bachelorette sarcasm right here).
I reported to the courthouse at about 0830 and they were in the middle of showing some video on how to be a juror and how being a juror changed my life. The only way being a juror changed their life was they were probably $200 richer for being in that lame video.
So, some judge gal gets up and gives this whole song and dance and I pull out my knitting which is the public equivalent of the Yak Lady from the circus entering the room. I instantly become the walking freak show and people around me are trying not to stare and others are asking me questions. Then the judge asks anyone who feels they need to be exempt to come to the front of the room and form a line. About 75 people go up there and I wonder if any of these folks can 1) read or 2) have Internet access because all of this could have been taken care of on line or via mail. So this takes another 45 minutes and then they start calling names. Good thing I was listening as I was number 6 out of 400. Lucky me. So they tell us what court to go to and that this will be a civil trial. I am still resting under the assurance that I will never get picked, per my husband, because he is a police officer and I am a nurse. So, I text him to tell him who the judge is and what court it is and he texts me back and says, "You will probably get picked" and I think my heart might have stopped right there.
We go the court room and have to wait outside and then we get called in. I am LUCKY JUROR NUMBER 4. They hand out these duplicate copy forms, clipboards, and pens and we have a questionaire to fill out. Name, age, where do you live, how many kids, how long have you been married, how many times have you been married. Then it gets more personal. What TV shows do you watch. I am thinking, oh my hell this could be a catch. Do I go for full disclosure and admit that I watch the Bachelor and Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels? No, I go for conservative and say HGTV, Grey's Anatomy, and something else I can't remember. Then it asks what do we do in our spare time. Do I admit knitting? Sure, they might think I am a nut and then I won't get picked. So I put knitting, reading, watching TV, spending time with family, neutral stuff. Then they ask what 3 people you admire most and what 3 people you admire the least. So I answer for admire most my husband and my parents. Who do I admire the least? If I put Bret Michaels it won't make sense because I didn't admit to my Rock of Love obsession. If I put Barak Obama I might get questioned by the Secret Service which would be worse than Jury Duty. If I put Bill Clinton then they will know I am a serious conservative. So then I am mad thinking, "Is this Jury Duty or am I being interviewed for Homecoming Queen?" I look at the girl's paper next to me and she put the people she admires most are Oprah and the least is Rush Limbaugh. Insert VERY HUGE EYE ROLL right here. Finally I decide to put people who abuse children and animals and otherwise I cannot think of one specific person. So we turn them in and they start questioning us one by one and eliminating us one by one. By lunch there is still no jury so we are excused with instructions to be back at 1245. Guess who was late getting back? Two things ran through my mind: 1) I am so going to jail and 2) Surely now they will think I am irresponsible and won't pick me. Then they ask us if we are related to any attorneys and I say yes, my brother is an attorney. Did I tell you that 2 of the potential jurors got into a car wreck in the parking lot at lunch? Neither one of them got picked. One of them had been laid off 9 times since 2000. You do the math. Now I am really sweating because I have no honest NO answers. Then everyone rests and they are ready to pick the jury. And I get picked. So here we are: a nurse, two principal/assistant principals, a boat salesman, a customer service manager, a controller, a computer expert who works for a church, a chef who is self employed, a photo lab manager, a USPS employee, two HR people, and one other girl who I can't remember what she did but she was very nice. We sit in the jury box and get 1001 instructions from the judge and then we go to the jury room and read 2 more pages of instructions and then we are dismissed.
And I call work and let them know I got picked for the longest civil trial in the history of the world because they told us it would be at least a week.
More tomorrow.